【乐呵】中外最精彩的43条神回复,笑得根本停不下来-捌零影视网
01
中国哪里的姑娘最漂亮?
Where can you find the most beautiful girls in China?
“
微信朋友圈
WeChat Moments”
02
请给出一句很有内涵的诗句
Please name a thought-provoking sentence from a poem.
“
一懒众衫小
Once lazy, all your clothes get smaller.”
03
如何理解“穷不是一种状态”?
What's the meaning of 'poverty is not a certain situation'?
“
穷是一种常态
It's the common situation.”
04
问世上不会游泳的动物是?
What animals on earth can not swim?
“
媳妇和妈
Your wife and your mother.”
05
如果被车撞飞10米远,
爬起来之后说什么最帅?
What is the coolest thing to say after you got hit by a car and managed to stand up again?
“
下一辆
Next!”
06妈,我是你的什么?
Mother, what am I to you?
“
妈的智障
My karma.”
07
为什么前女友还会一直关注我呢?
What could be the reason that my ex still follows me on social networks?
“
知道你过得不好我也就放心了
Knowing that you still mess everything up makes my day.”
08
为什么打群架的时候
普遍会脱掉上衣狼王传奇?
Why do people usually take off their clothes when starting a gang fight?
“
假如脱掉裤子的话
总觉得有哪里不对,气氛怪怪的
Because it would be weird to take off your pants.”
09
怎么反驳“你行你上啊”的逻辑?
How should I respond to 'You can you up'超级转换秀 ?
“
我评论个鸡蛋不好吃双面情人,滕旋还得自己下个蛋啊?
So I need to lay an egg to criticize an egg's flavor?”
10
如何一个月减肥40斤?
By what means can I lose 20 kilograms in a month?
“
截肢
Amputation.”
11
怎样含蓄地表达
「我已经被收买了」
How can I subtly suggest that I've been compromised?
“
我说句公道话……
Let me say this impartially...”
12
为什么你长痘痘?
Why do you have pimples?
“
因为我可爱得冒泡
Because I'm just bubble-bubbly cute.”
13
打雷的时候关窗户有用吗?
Does it work to close the window when it's thundering outside?
“
没用的,我试过了
关了窗雷一样在打
No, it won't. I've tried.
It was still thundering outside after I closed the window.”
14
你见过哪些概率极小极小的事件?
What extremly-small-probability event have you witnessed?
“
20道完形填空,全错
Done a cloze test of 20 questions
with 0 answer right.”
15
妹子还书的时候夹了一张面巾纸
什么意思?
What does a girl mean when she return your book but with a facial tissue in it?
“
说明你对人家有意思
This means you are paying extra attention to her.”
16
两千元人民币,想出国穷游
可以去哪些国家?
To which country can I do a budget travel with 2,000 RMB?
“
秦鲁齐蜀韩郑魏楚赵燕吴等等...
For example,
all the ancient countries that used to be China.”
17
想养一只鹦鹉
教它说一些什么话好?
I wanna keep a parrot as pet. What would be cool to teach it to say?
“
救命丘挺,我被变成鹦鹉了黄豚!
Help马和驴交配 !
They've turned me into a parrot!”
18
呆萌和脑残的界限是?
What is the boundry between 'clumsy' and 'stupid'?
“
和
the and”
19
为什么女生有体香,而男生没有?
Why do women give out sweet scent but men don't?
“
化妆品腌入味了
The makeup is fermenting.”
20
男生说什么话
女生会觉得很大气南丹山风景区?
What would be manly for a man to say in front of a girl?
“
买
I'll pay.”
21
热恋是一种怎样的体验?
How does it feel to love somebody insanely?
“
两个长得像猪一样的人
还怕对方被抢走了。。
Two people who are on no aspect attractive worry about each other being stolen by someone else.”
22
有什么赞扬让你比较尴尬?
Is there any compliment that makes you awkward?
“
人不可貌相啊
We really cannot judge a book by its cover, can we?”
23
你怎么一个人逛街啊?
Why are you shopping all by yourself?
“
半个人逛街我怕吓着你
I fear it would scare you to death if I were shopping all by no one.”
24
单身两年以上是什么体验?
How does it feel to be single for more than 2 years?
“
单身22年
不知道你说的是哪两年?
I've been single for 22 years.
Which 2 years are you suggesting?”
25
地球外面那一层叫什么?
How do you call the outside layer of Earth?
“
香飘飘奶茶
Xiang Piao Piao milk tea.”
26
要是在古代
姐的颜值能撑起整个青楼
Back in the ancient times, a face like mine can hold a whole brothel.
“
你是说你长得像柱子吗?
You mean you look like a pillar?”
27
很高兴为你服务
I'm glad to be at your service.
“
你高兴得太早了
You'll find out you got glad too fast.”
28
北冥有鱼,其名为鲲
Once in the northern sea, there was a fish and people called it Kun.
“
众人食之,完
And people ate it.
The end.”
29
妈,我能看电视吗?
Mom, can I watch the television?
“
当然可以啊,只要不打开就行
Of course you can, as long as it's turned off.”
30
你得揣摩出题人的意图
You need to understand why they set this question in the first place.
“
他想我死
They want me dead.”
31
你知道吗贵女谋略 ?你最终会变成你讨厌的人
You know what? You eventually become someone you loathe.
“
借你吉言,我讨厌有钱人
Thanks五胡烽火录, I loathe people who are rich.”
32
国庆去北京旅游有什么好建议吗?
Gonna be traveling in Beijing during the National Day vacation. Any suggestion?
“
别去
Don't go.”
33
等我瘦了就回来找你
I'll come back for you when I get slim.
“
如果你不想见我,其实可以直说
You can level with me if you don't want to see me.”
34
有史以来最伟大的虚构人物是谁?
Who is the greatest fictional character in history?
“
别人家的小朋友
Someone else's child.”
35
你看看别人家的男朋友
都是吃女朋友吃剩下的饭!!!
Look at other girls' boyfriends. They eat their grilfriends' leftover.
“
那你倒是给我剩点啊
Sounds as if you ever left any over.”
36
为什么秀恩爱通常选择在中午?
Why do people always show off their relationships at noon?
“
因为早晚会有报应
Because sooner or later karma will come to them.”
37
请用一个词来形容你的男朋友
Please use one word to describe your boyfriend.
“
哪?
Where?”
38
被人追了怎么拒绝?
How do I successfully reject someone who is pursuing me?
“
接地卸妆
Remove your makeup,right now, right there.”
39
为了让你好好学习,父母都给过你什么?
What did your parents give you to make you study harder?
“
这张脸
This face.”
40
参观一个世界奇观时
你最想了解哪些信息?
What do you want to know the most when you visit a World Wonder?
“
这附近有什么好吃的吗?
What can I find to eat around there?”
41
我要如何才能显得很高冷?
How can I look high-end and cool?
“
搬去喜马拉雅
Move to the Himalayas.”
42
为什么有的男生追女生追到一半不追了李璧琦 ?
Why do some boys give up half-way pursuing a girl?
“
你倒是给个进度条啊
Why don't you display a progress bar?”
43
为什么在洗完澡之后
有些人会觉得自己变漂亮了?
Why do some people find themselves prettier after they take a shower?
“
脑子进水了
The brain has water damage.”